The
preliminary step in any journey is always the most excruciating,
and the journey that is book reviewing is no exception.
First off, it is very useful to acquire a copy of the
book to be reviewed. If you are a staff writer or editor
of a newspaper or literary magazine, this should not be
a hard task. Publicity offices at most publishing houses
jump at the chance to send out free copies of their books
to high-circulation publications.
If,
on the other hand, you are a freelancer without a current
assignment for the book, or worse, a self-publisher, the
chances are innumerably greater that your request will make
its way directly into the publicist's wastebasket. If phoning
the request, you are more apt to spend 15 minutes on the
phone with the receptionist, stumbling over your words (of
which, as a true writer, you should be lord and master)
as you try to find the magic phrases that will get you past
the Midgard of the front desk and into the Valhalla of the
publicist’s voicemail. Once there, you will inevitably
stumble over your words once more and impress the publicist
only to the point of electronically tossing your request
into the wastebasket.
A
better bet for the self-publisher is to go to the newsstand
and take copies of seven or eight different newspapers,
some foreign, and cut the mastheads from them. Position
each masthead on top of a sheet of paper containing your
request, typing the words “Weekend Edition” or
“American Office” under each. Fax these requests
from different copy shops on different days of the week,
carefully spelling a different alias and editorship at each
paper. As the sending address, mark each (in different writing
styles: publicists are trained masters of handwriting analysis)
with the address of a close friend or relative, one you
can trust to send the book to you. Don't include a phone
number, but as a precaution answer your own phone with a
gruff, hurried European accent for the next three weeks.
A month or so later, as the only successful request comes
to its fruition in your Aunt Nelly’s mailbox, hurriedly
tear open the package and pull out the used galley version
of the wrong book.
Toss
this into its rightful place in the garbage and, since your
self-appointed deadline is tomorrow, rush to the bookstore
and buy your own copy. Spend the rest of the day in rapid
consumption of the text, marking up the pages and writing
the review simultaneously. This is the true measure of all
reviewers: the ability to read the book and write and submit
their first draft of the review as proof of their unquestionable
writing ability. Most every literary critic uses this technique,
and it obviously is very effective, as it is impossible
to find a review in which the writer doesn’t seem to
know what he's talking about.
One
last thing. All art criticism is interpretation. Something
you may infer about the book may not be anything like what
another person is thinking. In fact, it may be the polar
opposite. In order to avoid conflict with editors, readers,
and publishing houses, the best thing to do in any book
review is to include as little content about the book as
possible. That being the criteria, this book review is as
close to perfection as any reviewer could ever hope.
Umberto
Eco's collection of essays, How to Travel with a Salmon,
is available from your local Harcourt Brace publicist. Just
ask.
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